Fear & Hope

Today we have to talk our little girl to see an Ophthalmologist. She was born prematurely and has developmental delays as well as vision problems.

I struggle to express my feelings and anxieties, especially to people who know us quite well. But its incredibly hard to be upbeat all the time, people don’t realise their concerns add to my own, and why should I constantly gloss over stuff just so they feel reassured?? As time ticks away I can feel the stress balling in my stomach and my mind races as I wonder what they are going to tell us. There is a desperate need that we will hear something good, something positive…and now I’ve hit my wall, I can’t articulate any more on the subject.

So, in a pathetic attempt to occupy myself, I’ve been sewing a felt owl. There seems to be owl themed stuff everywhere in the craft world. I’ve been kind of making it up as I go along…story of my life. I’ll post a photo when I’m done.

 

EDIT: I have been thinking about the response this post might get, and I want to make it known that sympathy or pity isn’t what we want or need. We want recognition and validation, and smiles and positivity, because that’s what gives us a boost!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tara
    Jun 08, 2011 @ 15:02:35

    How about empathy? I totally get it.

    But I do feel for others. They want to be positive so I say “no he won’t walk” they want to be realistic so I say “you never know what the future holds”! There’s no right or wrong answer.

    Reply

    • busychasingbutterflies
      Jun 09, 2011 @ 09:55:47

      Lol Tara, my OH is always saying “oh, she’ll be fine”, used to make me crazy, now its rubbed off on me. We’re just trying to roll along with an open mind, refusing to let other people limit us with ‘can’t’s’ or ‘won’t’s’. Both of us have been blessed with extra-ordinary children, and the Universe knows no bounds xx

      Reply

  2. Gemma
    Jun 08, 2011 @ 16:49:22

    I’ll be crossing my fingers (and toes, intestines and the like) for a positive outcome for you! I totally know what you mean about sympathy, sometimes it’s just the last thing you need…

    *huge hugs and smiles for you guys and the wee one*

    Reply

    • busychasingbutterflies
      Jun 09, 2011 @ 09:45:59

      Thanks Gem, it was basically a waste of time *sigh*. One good thing is they are happy to hold off the MRI scan.

      We’ll get there, its hard not to be upbeat when Taliah beams her huge smile at me x

      Reply

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